2 posts tagged “golf”

I'm undoubtedly the millionth person to make this joke in the past 36 hours, but the real reason the General resigned from coaching abruptly? To focus on his new pursuit - golf announcing:

You know what? Fuck this bitch. Seriously. It's really touching that everyone thinks it's so cute and adorable and heartwarming and uplifting that this bag of bones somehow made contact with the golf ball without breaking both of her hips and then somehow turned it into an ace from 100 yards out, but not me. To hell with that. Here I am, the prime of my youth, as fit as I'll probably be (it's all downhill from here), and I stand no chance of hitting a hole-in-one. By the time the 102nd anniversary of my birth comes along, I'll have been dead for so long people will have forgotten I was alive.

But good for her. That's just fan-fucking-tastic that this Civil War vet hit a hole in one. It's just another reminder of all the things I won't accomplish in my life.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need a good cry.